Left Coast Voices

"I would hurl words into the darkness and wait for an echo. If an echo sounded, no matter how faintly, I would send other words to tell, to march, to fight." Richard Wright, American Hunger

Archive for the tag “tom cruise”

A Black Mark on Obama – Tom Rossi

From The Satirical Gazeeter and Hand Fishing Review…

Fox “News” report:

Welcome to the Fox “News” (actually makes quote sign with fingers) morning report. I’m Spiff Albinoman and we’ve just received an investigative report. This just in from the (insani)Tea Party Gazeeter and Hand Fishing Review:

It’s recently been uncovered that President Barrack Hussein Obama… is, in fact, black.

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Or, as some prefer, “African American.” It turns out that we, er… I mean the large, highly intelligent group that has come to be known as the “birthers” was barking up the wrong tree. In fact, the answer was right in front of them, all along.

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President Hussein may not, in fact, have been born in Kenya… but his father was. In fact Hussein Obama’s father was a full-blooded African and, in fact, black.

The meaning and significance of this can’t be overstated. This means that, irregardless of Obama’s mama and her national origins and/or race, Hussein is, in fact, at a bare minimum, half black.

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Therefore, this fight over where Hussein was born is, in fact, moot. Constitutionally, a person of mixed race must have been the result of a mixed-race marriage and is, in fact, illegal. In fact, the whole marriage was illegal and any and all offspring from that marriage are, in fact, illegal.

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This fact, these facts, in fact outweigh all of the ridiculous attempts to “Monica Lewinsky” President Hussein. In fact, many wonder why these attempts are being made, now that Hussein is, in fact, “termed out.” He can’t be re-elected and these attempts will, in fact, certainly be useless if Hussein does, in fact, stage some sort of coup, in order to install himself as permanent dictator.

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However, the revelation that Hussein is, in fact, simultaneously black and of mixed race, could and should be used to impeach him, in his present term.

Well, we certainly look forward to that.

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Next up after the break: George Will uses the letter, “F.”

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-Tom Rossi

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Tom Rossi is a commentator on politics and social issues. He is a Ph.D. student in International Sustainable Development, concentrating in natural resource and economic policy. Tom greatly enjoys a hearty debate, especially over a hearty pint of Guinness.

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The Moron Interview – Tom Rossi

One of the things that often angers me about journalism (hey, what would I do with myself if I wasn’t angry about something?) in recent years is the way that time is wasted during network television news broadcasts.

Video: I LOVE being angry!

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News shows on TV are usually broken up into half-hour segments. They may be scheduled for an hour like, say, the “5 o’clock news,” but often the second half hour starts off repeating the top stories from the first half hour. That’s the first way that valuable time is eliminated – repitition.

 

Then, there is the inevitable story about some celebrity. This is never an actual news story like, “Jennifer Aniston goes on shooting spree in the U.S. House of Representatives.” No, it’s always something like, “Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorcing.” Tripe.

 

Then, if that wasn’t enough time wasted on Hollywood “news,” it’s followed by the “Hollywood Minute,” “What’s up in Hollywood,” or “Celebrity Corner,” or something equally ridiculous (it’s never only a minute, by the way).

 

Then there might be a legitimate (sort of) news story as sort of a break in the inanity, followed by a newish and horrifying phenomenon, the “What’s Hot on Twitter/Google/Facebook” segment. Really? Is this news? Is there really nothing more important going on than this?

 

As stupid, annoying, and wasteful of my time and, worse, the opportunity to actually inform the populace about current events and concerns these useless segments and stories are, they pale in comparison to the most offensive snippet of all: the street moron interview.

 

“Yeah, the train got shut down, I guess, and I had to wait over two hours to get on a bus to get to work. I was late and everything.”

 

“I never saw anything like it! It was mud! Just flowing down the street!”

 

“I was just standing out here and, like, I heard, like, “pop, pop, pop!” And I looked, and this dude was, like, laying in the street, and I was like, ‘Whoa!'”

 

What purpose do these interviews serve? What insight do they provide into the events? Why are these interviews taking up my news time?

 

In the never ending quest to make news more “entertaining,” the news deteriorates further and further. During a half hour news cast a few months ago, I saw an eight-minute story about one of the Jonas brothers doing a solo album. And when news room managers are asked about this pathetic state of affairs, they always say: “That’s what people want.”

 

It’s not what I want. And the people who want Hollywood gossip don’t watch the news. News managers are failing in their responsibility to inform the public. They are violating our trust. They are depriving us of opportunities to educate ourselves about the community and the world around us. Those of us who actually want news are getting sick of it and turning, more and more, to the internet. With considerable research, we are finding better alternatives.

 

Before I forget…

This just in: Michael Jackson is still dead.

 

-Tom Rossi

___________________________________________________________________________

Tom Rossi is a commentator on politics and social issues. He is a Ph.D. student in International Sustainable Development, concentrating in natural resource and economic policy. Tom greatly enjoys a hearty debate, especially over a hearty pint of Guinness.

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