The Final Furlough
I know, I know. I missed a blog entry last week, a cardinal sin of blogospherial proportion. Truth is, with a new cover, the text laid out in final form and the last stages of my website, it has been a critical two weeks.
Heavy pressure at work (the work that pays the bills and puts food on the table), a sick child, and my wife away from home interviewing, also made finding time to focus on my book challenging.
It is both exciting and depressing. Recently I find that if I consider the whole picture – the endless To Do lists, timetables, SMART goals – then a wave of paralysis descends, reinforced by guilt, flanked by a sense of failure, backed up by hopelessness and commandeered by fatigue, the latter from less than six hours sleep, as I burn the candle at both ends while tossing and churning over To Do lists.
A high point of the week was opening a To Do list from a few months ago and seeing that, yes, I am getting through it.
And then there was receiving the new book cover for Oilspill dotcom. After three times experiencing a sinking feeling each time I downloaded the file, it was exhilarating to feel a soar of excitement as a first reaction to a new book cover design.
Reading through the manuscript in final layout format was also exciting for two reasons. Firstly, there is a feeling of closure, going through word-by-word for the last time. Secondly, I love my characters! After all this time, reading the book 15-20 times, and still feeling sad or elated for them. Tear still welled when I read certain passages – it was like checking in again with old friends.
So, here’s to old friends. Like To Do lists, they never seem to go away, even when the book is finished.